Meanwhile I am still incapable of mustering the energy to do anything creative. That stuff that's supposed to just come naturally to me. It's just... dead. I can doodle, but I can't draw. Nothing remotely fresh or interesting. Hell, I can't even come up with a new damned character design, and anybody who has ever seen me in an RP setting knows I'm a massive character addict and can usually crank them out like a kid in a sweatshop. I am obsessed with characters, character development... never was all that good at plots, which is largely why I have like 7 books I started in middle school that have been left unfinished and will have to be 100% rewritten by the time I get around to them again, because I know I'm gonna look back on my writing and go "oh god this sucks". When I RP my characters usually take on minds of their own, they sort of do their own thing in a way, I get lost in them. Lately, I can't breathe them to life at all. They have stopped speaking to me.
I don't like that. It sucks. I'm used to this shit just sort of flowing on its own. Drawing, music, writing... it all just sort of *happens* for me... except right now. Hell I thought iScribble would help kick me into life again. But even that I don't feel like getting onto right now. *sighs* I just feel... dead.
Basically, the "real world" has got me down and I'm way too stressed right now. Between being in a job that, as an introvert, I can't stand (not that many people LIKE customer service, but yanno), and worrying about money and all that, I'm not doing so well lately.









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boom chakka chakka chakka
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<-- Life is good -->
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"This new music sucks. And it sucks too loud." ~Davis (Corner Gas)
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Love at first sight
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"This new music sucks. And it sucks too loud." ~Davis (Corner Gas)
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Love at first sight
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